Can people change = growth ≠ change.

You can grow as a person. Be better or worse. But you can never be a wholly different person. All the shitty things you’ve done will always be a part of you, and you must take responsibility for them forever. Similarly, all the good things you’ve done will be a part of you. Your genetics, environment, surroundings, everything has had an interest in who you’re. You can’t escape determinism and fate and become someone else.

You should nevertheless try your hardest to break pre-conceived ideas and trauma. The struggle to become your best possible version every day—the battle to be a gentler, kinder and more competent person. But don’t get so over-consumed in your growth that you let life pass you by; take a breather now and again, reflect on how far you’ve come, reflect on the mistakes you made then start again.

If you fuck up, that’s fine as long as you take responsibility for it, fix what you can, apologise to those affected, dwell on what you did wrong and what you could’ve done then move on. Don’t become stagnant. There’s a whole world out there for you to explore and experience. Push yourself little by little every day, take breaks if needed, as many as you need, and learn to walk away from situations and people that don’t go with your current state. Please don’t force your ideals on them and expect them to change for you, people never will, and they don’t owe you that. Compromises are also necessary but should not be at the cost of your sanity or personal boundaries.

And fight for what you feel is true to you, be it a cause or a relationship you want to save, but let go before it reaches a breaking point. The thing you were fighting for will always be beautiful. Your efforts will always be worth it regardless of how long you fought for it or how long it lasted.